Someone asked me what I am looking for in a woman and instead of me to be my usual superficial self and list a lot of physical attributes that would make one gasp for air, I just couldn’t. So, here’s what I am looking for, a WOMAN.
Not just because she is female, not just because of her beauty and her curves but I want the real definition of a woman. So here is how I define a woman, she is pure not just in action but in intention, she is a rock and is not scared to let that show. She is a friend, a lover, a confidant but most importantly she stimulates that within me that I am scared to actualize. We all have dreams and think we are here to walk the path to actualization alone, but I am not weak to admit that I need help and I know she is on her way.
I have been fixated on physical appearance for the most of my existence, but life has a way of showing you when you need to break out of the box that has caged and defined you. Now I don’t care about beauty, I care about seeing her as she really is and accepting the order she is about to bring into my life. She was offering everything, yet I couldn’t see, why? Because I was shallow but now I am in a transition and I am reflecting on the fact that I have been my worst enemy.
So back to what I need and not what I want, I need a partner, I want me, but I am ready to share. Her words must breathe life into my world, I need someone who can see beyond this mess of a man. Someone who believes in my journey to discover my true purpose, someone who wants to ride shotgun on this journey that promises so much yet offers so little at the moment.
You must think I am describing God, but hey she definitely is a force and I will be lucky to accept her help because I realized that I can’t do it alone and now I refuse to do it alone. I am selfish so even in this post I am talking about what I need and not necessarily what I am ready to give, that is a story for some other day.
I need someone to listen on the days that I am scared and so cowardly to admit it, someone who will walk these dark lonely roads ahead because for someone like me they are many and somewhat a maze. I want to walk these paths with someone I trust and someone I can be vulnerable around, yes, I said it, VULNERABLE.
Everything I have learned has brought me to this crossroad and now I am about to flip the script and admit that I need a WOMAN to help me become the MAN I am destined to be. I know I have so much to give and there is a beauty when you see the value you have created by your actions but all I am asking for is someone to share that excitement with.
As much as there is a dark cloud in my head, I also have fantasies and I have a script for the WOMAN in my life. She is the main character in this movie called “my life”, I accept the supporting role because without her, this wouldn’t be a blockbuster it will only remain a script waiting for people to read it and hoping they would love it. I want confidence, support, depth, strength but most importantly spice. After all I know where I am heading without her, Nowhere.
I have been dancing around in my search for purpose but now I know she is the missing piece.
Artwork by Cyril Kodu
Instagram handle @cyrlk