I overthink a lot, I worry a lot. Its difficult not to when you don’t know what the next second brings, but here is the thing, it robs you of living through the moment you currently are in. It is easy to say I will motivate myself daily, I will worry less, I will control what I can and leave the rest to chance but also very difficult to see it through. Life is one big gamble after all. I am supposed to be completing an article right now but here I am thinking about more mundane things and almost scared about the dawn of a new day. This is so sad, and it shouldn’t be so, but it is what I have been reduced to all because I let self-doubt creep in. Now forty percent of my day is spent defeating myself even before the battle begins.
Am I good enough? Do I deserve the level of success I am dreaming of? What if I put in all the work and nothing comes of it? these are a few of the barrage of questions I field every second of my day. So, when you see me with my headphones strolling alone or when you see my head buried in my laptop and you think I have it all figured out, I am here to tell you I don’t, but I push through. Failure sucks but it is liberating as well, it shows you where you must strive not to return to. Self-doubt, whining, and indecisiveness kills more dreams than failure.
I like to fail because it means I am trying, and I acknowledge failure as part of my journey. My destination is dope, and it scares me, but I will permit myself such success. I deserve it because I strive constantly to be the best at what I do. What do I do? You may ask, I listen I empathize, I create, I dictate, I relate and most importantly I heal. My words are my ammunition, not in the exact sense of the word but still I want to reach as many people as possible and tell them they too can be heard. We are all unique and we all have something to give back to the world.
Look at it this way, we are renting space here on earth and we must give back to pay for the time we spend here. So, it is not about taking but about giving, about reaching out to as many people as possible. If everyone thinks like this, if we all use what we have to help someone out there, no matter how small you think that act of kindness is, the world will be better for it. Your smile today could have lifted someone’s spirits, those talents that you doubt you have, let me tell you, someone is waiting for you to figure it out, to act, to do something, to speak out.
We are all blessed with unique gifts, and it is left for us to search within and realize that these gifts are not meant for us but for the world. So, as you won’t light a lamp and hide it under a table so too must you make good use of your gifts. I am sure many of you are saying I don’t know my gift or if I have any talents but I too stayed passive for three decades and told myself the same, that I had no purpose, no talents but now it is as clear as daylight that I am here to help someone through the difficulty they are facing. I may not have money to share around but what I have to give is worth more than silver or gold. My satisfaction always comes from the smile, the relief on the faces of people after they have had an encounter with me. Yes, you heard me, I called it an encounter because everyone I meet gives me a window for my essence to rub off on them and I am grateful for the opportunity.
There was no epiphany, no Hollywood moment when I realized my calling, but it has just been a summation of all my interactions here in this space we share. I know what I am here to do, I know I must fight myself on those days when I am thinking I am not up to the task. I was born for this, I was built for this. So why do you think you are here on this earth? this is a question I want you to ask yourself in that dark moment when you are very scared and wondering about your existence because we all go through that moment at least once. Be brave, be bold, be humble, be you and most especially show gratitude for your gifts and make a difference.